Text item:
All,
Many of you may remeber this from a while back (I believe I first sent it last
October) but I found it again and got another chuckle so here it is again. I
have been in a dry spell for new material so if any of you have anything light
please forward it to me.
Regards,
Todd
Subject: Cars and Computers...
If people treated cars like they treat computers...
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "I got in my car and closed the door and nothing
happened!"
HelpLine: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
Customer: "What's an ignition?"
HelpLine: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your
battery and turns over the engine."
Customer: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to
know all these technical terms just to use my car?"
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go
anywhere!"
HelpLine: "Is the gas tank empty?"
Customer: "Huh? How do I know?"
HelpLine: "There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle
and markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle
pointing?"
Customer: "It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?"
HelpLine: "It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and
purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself
or pay the vendor to install it for you."
Customer: "What? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I
have to keep buying more components? I want a car that
comes with everything built in!"
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Your cars suck!"
HelpLine: "What's wrong?"
Customer: "It crashed, that's what wrong!"
HelpLine: "What were you doing?"
Customer: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator
pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while and
then it crashed and it won't start now!
HelpLine: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product.
What do you expect us to do about it?"
Customer: "I want you to send me one of the latest version that
doesn't crash any more!"
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car
because it has automatic transmission, cruise control,
power steering, power brakes, and power door locks."
HelpLine: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"
Customer: "How do I work it?"
HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "Do I know how to what?"
HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "I'm not a technical person. I just want to go places in
my car!"
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To: "Cheryl Ewy" <Ewy|Cheryl@DEVELOP_TOOLS.Development.Tools>,
"Chris Andersen" <candersen@wpo.borland.com>,
"Craig Hext" <craig.hext@eng.sun.com>,
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"Jim Brewer" <jjb@fc.hp.com>, "Joe Bocchieri" <buffy@aspen.fhda.edu>,
"John Arkley" <Arkley|John@DEVELOP_TOOLS.Development.Tools>,
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"Larry Marrs" <larrym@apple.com>,
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"Patrick Bong" <pbong@slac.stanford.edu>,
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"Reed Keel" <William_R_Keel@ccm.fm.intel.com>,
"Rick Dorin" <Dorin|Rick@DEVELOP_TOOLS.Development.Tools>,
"Steve Ketchum" <spk@frame.com>, "Trina Davis" <davis@acuson.com>,
"Brian Strull" <Brian_Strull@powertalk.apple.com>,
"Erik Eidt" <Erik_Eidt@powertalk.apple.com>,
"Jack Littleton" <jack_littleton@powertalk.apple.com>,
"Lee Collings" <Lee_Collings@powertalk.apple.com>,
"Matthew Melmon" <Matthew_Melmon@powertalk.apple.com>,
"Paul Dumais" <paul_dumais@powertalk.apple.com>
Subject: Cars and Computers...
From: "Michael Milligan" <michael_milligan@powertalk.apple.com>
Date: 19 Oct 1994 10:24:41 -0700
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