From jcgargano@yuan.ucdavis.edu Tue Oct 18 11:12 PDT 1994 Received: from ucdavis.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.9/UCD3.0) id LAA17115; Tue, 18 Oct 1994 11:12:14 -0700 Received: from peseta.ucdavis.edu by ucdavis.ucdavis.edu (8.6.9/UCD2.50) id LAA25043; Tue, 18 Oct 1994 11:12:12 -0700 Received: from yuan.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.9/UCD3.0) id LAA16959; Tue, 18 Oct 1994 11:11:30 -0700 Received: from winddancer by yuan.ucdavis.edu (8.6.9/UCD2.50) id LAA27518; Tue, 18 Oct 1994 11:10:33 -0700 Message-Id: <199410181810.LAA27518@yuan.ucdavis.edu> X-Sender: ccjoan@peseta.ucdavis.edu Mime-Version: 1.0 Date: Tue, 18 Oct 1994 11:22:54 -0700 To: dcas@yuan.ucdavis.edu, pmking@yuan.ucdavis.edu, dldrennan@yuan.ucdavis.edu, kfhemness@yuan.ucdavis.edu, dkwong@yuan.ucdavis.edu, DHZAVATSON@yuan.ucdavis.edu, bchill@yuan.ucdavis.edu, itud@yuan.ucdavis.edu, pmking@yuan.ucdavis.edu, kmmunoz@yuan.ucdavis.edu, dkstevens@yuan.ucdavis.edu From: jcgargano@yuan.ucdavis.edu (Joan Gargano) Subject: Expectations X-Mailer: Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-Length: 2940 Status: RO Funny but thought provoking. Joan Item Subject: FWD: Imagine a GM HelpLine... (fwd) > ---------- Forwarded message ---------- > Message-Id: > Date: Fri, 7 Oct 1994 15:33:25 -0400 > From: jon@worldbenders.com (Jon Callas) > > Forwards removed: > > General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how > to drive. Imagine if they did ... (Think of a computer software or > hardware helpline) > > --- > > HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?" > Customer: "I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!" > HelpLine: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?" > Customer: "What's an ignition?" > HelpLine: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery > and turns over the engine." > Customer: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to > know all these technical terms just to use my car?" > > --- > > HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?" > Customer: "My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere!" > HelpLine: "Is the gas tank empty?" > Customer: "Huh? How do I know?" > HelpLine: "There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle > and markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle > pointing?" > Customer: "It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?" > HelpLine: "It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase > some more gasoline. You can install it yourself or pay > the vendor to install it for you." > Customer: "What? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that > I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that > comes with everything built in!" > > --- > > HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?" > Customer: "Your cars suck!" > HelpLine: "What's wrong?" > Customer: "It crashed, that's what wrong!" > HelpLine: "What were you doing?" > Customer: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal > all the way to the floor. It worked for a while and then > it crashed and it won't start now! > HelpLine: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What > do you expect us to do about it?" > Customer: "I want you to send me one of the latest version that > doesn't crash any more!" > > --- > > HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?" > Customer: "Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car > because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, > power steering, power brakes, and power door locks." > HelpLine: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?" > Customer: "How do I work it?" > HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?" > Customer: "Do I know how to what?" > HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?" > Customer: "I'm not a technical person. I just want to go places in > my car!" >