TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING THE MATH HOMEWORK

1.      I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
2.      Isaac Newton's birthday.
3.      I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook.  I couldn't
        actually reach it.
4.      I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
5.      I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove
        that it converged.
6.      I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
7.      I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in
        and ate it.
8.      I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or
        i is the square root of negative one.
9.      I took time out to snack a doughnut and a cup of coffee.  I spent
        the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.
10.     I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but
        this morning I couldn't find it.