Subject: Your 'Have A Nice Day' Laugh #0568 (fwd)

From: Sister Rosetta Stone <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 10 Sep 1997 17:02:41 -0400 (EDT)

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Troy B. Williams
[email-masked]
Home (919) 613-0819

__________________________________
You can get a lot more done with a kind word and a gun, than with a kind 
word alone. 
 	Al Capone
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---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, 10 Sep 1997 08:10:15 -0600 (MDT)
From: HAND! <[email-masked]>
To: Recipients - HAND <[email-masked]>
Subject: Your 'Have A Nice Day' Laugh #0568

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Your 'Have A Nice Day' Laugh is:

Sent in by Aynalem:

I'm not offended by all the dumb blond jokes because I know I'm not dumb...
and I also know that I'm not blond.
		- Dolly Parton

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart
woman with a dumb guy.
		- Erica Jong

I want to have children, but my friends scare me.  One of my friends told
me she was in labor for 36 hours.  I don't even want to do anything that
feels GOOD for 36 hours.
		- Rita Rudner

I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job.
		- Roseanne

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't
decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
		- Rita Rudner

I was on a date recently, and the guy took me horseback riding. That was
kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters.
		- Susie Loucks

This guy says, "I'm perfect for you, 'cause I'm a cross between a macho and
a sensitive man." I said, "Oh, a gay trucker?"
		- Judy Tenuta

He tricked me into marrying him.  He told me he was pregnant
		- Carol Leifer

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
		- Wendy Liebman

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
		- Erma Bombeck

If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them.
		- Sue Grafton

I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
		- Gilda Radner

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
		- Roseanne

I would love to speak a foreign language, but I can't.  So I grew hair
under my arms instead.
		- Sue Kolinsky

I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door
to an amusement park.
		- Dolly Parton

I found out why cats drink out of the toilet.  My mother told me it's
because it's cold in there.  And I'm like: How did my mother know THAT?
		- Wendy Liebman

I think -- therefore I'm single.
		- Lizz Winstead

HAND! Have A Nice Day!

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