Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Mon 8/8/95

From: Aaron Barnhart <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 7 Aug 1995 23:16:52 -0500

> From New York: Try our famous pecan logs ... It's THE TOP TEN
  LIST for Monday, August 8, 1995.  And now, a man who's known
  to a few close friends as "Smokey" ... David Letterman!
 
> From the home office in Grand Rapids, Michigan ...
 
TOP TEN SIGNS OF SLOPPINESS IN THE L.A.P.D. CRIME LAB
 
10. Test tubes not washed between vodka shots
 
 9. Findings that state "all fingerprints pretty much the same"
 
 8. When they run out of salt, sprinkle DNA on lunch
 
 7. Reports copied word-for-word from old "Quincy" episodes
 
 6. Claimed results showed it was impossible for man to have first
    name of "Dick" and last name of "Assman"
 
 5. Technician borrowed bloody glove to do some weed-pulling in
    backyard
 
 4. Blood sample too small?  Add some water and red food coloring
 
 3. Somebody keeps using test tubes as way to save a walk to the
    bathroom
 
 2. No more O.J. blood?  just cut yourself
 
 1. Lab director: Rosa Lopez
 
        [Music: "Perry Mason Theme" by Fred Steiner]
 
Compiled for the vacationing Sue Trowbridge by Aaron Barnhart
 
          ----------------------------------------
               LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN
               11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT)
               on the CBS Television Network
          ----------------------------------------
 
             On Tuesday's show, Dave welcomes
 
             ... athlete JOHN KRUK
             ... comedian WAYNE COTTER
             ... musician JUNIOR BROWN
 
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