Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Tue 8/15/95

From: Sue Trowbridge <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 16 Aug 1995 00:18:41 -0400

> From New York: Six acres of quality used cars ... it's THE
  TOP TEN LIST for Tuesday, August 15, 1995.  And now, the
  captain of the U.S.S. Entertainment ... David Letterman!
 
> From the home office in Venezuela ...
 
TOP TEN ANNA NICOLE SMITH DATING TIPS
 
10. Forget the personal ads -- try the intensive care unit
 
 9. Wear something that, even to his failing eyes, will look
    slutty
 
 8. Always carry some "mad money" for the paramedics
 
 7. Make sure the valet parkers understand, if he dies in the
    restaurant, you get the car
 
 6. When he wants sex, hide his glasses and put him in bed with
    a car battery
 
 5. Remind him, "Hey, when you're 160, I'll be 101"
 
 4. Prepare candlelit dinner.  If he can blow out candle, you
    don't want him
 
 3. To convincingly fake excitement during sex, just think about
    his stock portfolio
 
 2. Good pick-up line: "Can I pre-chew that for you?"
 
 1. Three words: bring extra plasma
 
       [Music: "For the Love of Money" by the O'Jays]

Compiled by Sue Trowbridge
 
          ----------------------------------------
               LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN
               11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT)
               on the CBS Television Network
          ----------------------------------------
 
             On Wednesday's show, Dave welcomes
 
             ...actress ISABELLA ROSSELINI

** YOYODYNE IS HIRING. Can you help? **
Yoyodyne Entertainment is growing! We'll pay a $500 bounty
to anyone who refers someone to us who we eventually hire.
Send e-mail to [email-masked] for details.
 
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